What a week....

I defended my dissertation (capstone) on Wed. I had an audience of about 10 people...some friends, faculty, my committee, and my dad came. The defense went well and I have some grammatical errors to fix and I have to clarify a few things....not bad at all. After the committee met I was announced as DR. ASHLEY COSENTINO.....WOW I was not expecting that at all. I figured that part would wait until graduation. There were some extremely wonderful things said to me as well which makes the day one I will never forget.  I spent most of the night on the phone and tried to get some sleep for my big interview the next day. I woke up in the middle of the night and could not fall back to sleep. No matter what I did Thursday morning I could not focus and began feeling incredibly unprepared. On my way there I heard my motivational song on the radio so I determined I wasn't going to be a worry wart and that I knew I could do this. The interview went very well. I was there from 130-6. I met with the chair, the dean, the faculty, and the students all at separate times. I concluded by teaching for an hour on boundaries using Structural Family Systems. There is not a single thing I would change about the day. It could not have gone any better. When I left the Dr. that headed the interview process told me I was extremely organized and that I should be very proud of myself especially based on my high recommendation letters. As I left, he shook my had and told me that if he were my boss he would give me a raise. Based on that I would have to say the interview went very well. Now comes the fun part....waiting!

I can't hardly believe it...

That's it....my dissertation (Capstone). I turned it in last week....all 200 pages! I finally sat down and read the whole thing about a week ago...I almost cried. Its amazing to think that I wrote it. I feel that I have really come a long way in the past 3 years and it just amazes me. I'm not completely finished though. Next Wednesday I will present my findings to my committee and whoever feels like coming to visit (its from 3-5 pm if you are interested). They will tell me I pass, I pass but need to fix some things, or that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm betting it will be the second one. Pretty exciting and nerve wracking...but it doesn't stop there. On Thursday I have a big interview! I will be going to a school to get a tour, meet the faculty and the dean, meet with a group of students, and then teach! Yikes that's going to be an intense 48 hours. I'm feeling super excited right now. I hope I can sleep this next week! PRAYERS APPRECIATED FOR THE NEXT WEEK! I am looking forward to next weekend- being able to see family and unwind. April and May will be spent finishing up. Graduation is set for June 8 and my hooding ceremony on the 6th (anyone can attend the hooding). I plan on celebrating with my family and friends to show my appreciation for all their love and support on June 15....SAVE THE DATE!

The end of 2012

Over the past year I have thought several times about what this post would look like....this was an INCREDIBLY emotional year filed with a roller coaster of events. I am very eager to start 2013 because it will begin a new chapter in my life that I have been waiting a very long time for. There is potential for some REALLY amazing things to happen....I should obtain my doctorate, hopefully get a good job, finally be able to quit the dermatologist's office, and begin thinking about having kids...but before I get ahead of myself lets reflect on the positives of 2012....
*James played travel baseball and we went to Cooperstown in New York
*Visited New York City for the first time
*Saw Niagara Falls and ate lunch in Canada
*Went to Cedar Point (man all of that in a 2 week period!)
*I passed my comprehensive exams making me a doctoral candidate...(a VERY emotional experience that thankfully ended well)
* I completed my doctoral coursework with a 4.0
* I presented at two different conferences and one of my presentations won first place
*I had an article published in an international journal.
*James found a new hobby... paint-balling. He and Dave enjoy this time together very much
* We finally finished our basement..well I'll call it finished. Just a few loose ends to tie up
*Dave and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary
*We got a new bedroom set with a bigger bed

Christmas

Christmas this year just never felt like Christmas. I'm sure it was the combination of being super busy finishing the basement and the lack of snow. However, the lack of expectations led to a calm, go-with-the-flow holiday season. We spent the weekend before Christmas at my brothers house and celebrating my birthday. The weekend of Christmas was spent at my moms, hosting Dave's family, going to the Bruinius side and the Kamp side. It was exhausting but relaxing at the same time. It has now been a week since Christmas and it still feels as if nothing has slowed down! I'm hoping tomorrow I find the motivation to take down the Christmas decorations.

Basement finished!

Interesting information

I came across this quote today and found it rather encouraging as Dave & I approach our 5 year anniversary  one month from tomorrow:

‎""Although the divorce rate for remarriages with children is dramatically higher than that for remarriages without children in the first three years, such marriages, having passed the three-year mark, are actually more likely to survive than first marriages. In fact, after about five years, researchers have found, a remarriage with children is more likely to succeed than any other type of marriage. The extraordinary effort of coping with the ordinary struggles of stepfamily life, it seems, cements couples who do not succumb to the pressures early on."
-Wednesday Martin, Ph.D.

doctoral canidate...

Its official....I am no longer a doctoral student, but now a doctoral candidate! Going to work my butt off to be finished in 9 months!

Vacation 2012

I am just going to apologize in advance for the length of this post...when you are gone for 12 days there is a lot to write about. On June 21, Dave and I left for New York City. The 13 hour drive went a lot better than I expected. I don't mind riding in the car, but Dave's not a fan. After much begging I was able to eat lunch at the Waffle House. I love the Waffle House. The first time Dave tried it he got REALLY sick so he doesn't like it at all. We planned to stay over the bridge in New Jersey b/c the hotel was $76 compared to $250+ in the city. We weren't planning on going into the city that night when we got there, but as we approached the city we thought it would be cool to see Time Square at night and figure out where we needed to be for our bus tour the next morning. At 10pm we ate at the Olive Garden in Time Square and then walked around. The screens are so bright and the amount of people around would make you think it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon. The next morning we got up early and attempted the very scary drive into the city. For those unfamiliar there are only a couple ways into the city which include at least 8 lanes merging into 2-3...not a fan what so ever. We were actually bumped the night before. I planned for the 12 mile trip to take around an hour with a half hour to park...We arrived at the bus tour with 2 min to spare.  We took a bus tour from 9-4 that showed us pretty much all of New York. We got out at St. John the Divine Cathedral (largest around...it was cool), Central Park, Little Italy (lunch), and we took a boat tour of the Statue of Liberty. We saw a bunch of other stuff. The tour said we were going to go to Ground Zero but we never got off the bus there :( that was the part we were both looking the most forward to. The boat ride to the statue was very interesting. Right when we boarded a huge storm came in. There was lightening all around and the loudest thunder ever...We got drenched!!!! After our tour we ate an early lunch at the Hard Rock and then headed to Cooperstown. We arrived late and headed to bed. The next day was the family picnic and opening ceremonies. The team scheduled to meet the families for lunch at 12 but opening ceremonies wasn't until 430 so we drove around and went into town. The area was so beautiful. There were mountains everywhere. Our drive to and from the hotel was awesome except at night when it became a death zone. The three night rides we came across a dozen deer, 1/2 dozen cats, a chicken, a dog, and a porcupine. The area was also filled with several really old cemeteries that I made Dave pull over for so I could check them out. Most stones had faded so you couldn't read them, but some had people born in the 1700's. The opening ceremonies were awesome. Three men jumped out of a plane with flags and the owner, Lou Presutti, gave an amazing speech. He stated that this season was dedicated to the soldiers (past, present, and future). He told a story of a Vietnam Vet who saved several people's lives and that he had passed away the following week and how sad it is that our media doesn't recognize more people like him, instead they focus on Lindsey Lohan and the Kardashians. The games started Sun. They had two games Sun, Mon, & Tues. They lost all 6 games...all by mercy rule. The poor boys ended up with early games almost every day so they were up by 6-630 (5-530 our time) with very little sleep and lots of activity around. Poor James had a rough couple days on Sun and Mon. They were losing so badly (like 30-1) and he was sooo tired that he just wanted to go home. We checked him out for a few hours and he was doing much better on Sun, but then Mon was more of the same. Mon we had a larger break between games so we drove about an hour to go to the Howe Caverns. We spend the afternoon doing a cave tour and then James' got to sift for gemstone treasures. Tues he was doing better. Wed was when the single elimination tournament started.  There were 104 teams there this week and his team was ranked 103...if they lost the first game they would have taken last place. We were hoping for at least one win. They won the first game 5-4...and went on to play the 51st team that beat us pretty bad. The boys at this tournament were so respectful. If a kid hit a homerun/grand slam they would high five the player. The team that beat us in the end came over after the game to the parent's sideline and clapped for us. After we lost on Wed the team and parents went to the Hall of Fame. It was neat but you really have to be a huge old time baseball fan to appreciate it. Thur we met up with James in the morning and spend the day together doing some shopping, eating and checking out a cute little farm store called Fly Creek. That night was closing ceremonies where the boys were presented with their Hall of Fame ring, fireworks, and the championship game. James came back to our hotel that night so we could leave right away in the morning for the next adventure. We were all pretty tired by this point and James was very homesick. He was fine skipping the rest of the vacation and going home, but we knew he'd be fine once he got some sleep. Fri morning we left early and headed to Niagara Falls. It was pretty awesome. We took a boat ride down into the falls. Since we already had our passports we walked into Canada and had lunch at Planet Hollywood. After a few hours there we headed to Cedar Point. We got to Cedar Point just in time to go to bed. The next morning we were up early (if you stayed on grounds you were able to enter the park an hour early). Much to my surprise for being a Sat we had a very successful day at the park. We had ridden all but 2 coasters and eaten lunch by 1. Dave wasn't feeling well and James was tired so we went to take a break in the AC of our hotel...3 1/2 hours later (napping) we all felt better. We ate dinner, rode the rest of the rides and were ready to head home. I figured being a weekend we would need all day Sat and Sun to do the park. Sun we got up rode the rides we liked the most, got James' picture draw, and mini golfed...We planned to stay until 5, but were ready to head home at 11. Oh I forgot to mention...on our way to Cedar Point I convinced James that he needed to try the Waffle House...Dave dropped us off and went to McDonalds :) and then when we left Cedar Point James' begged to go again...so I got to eat Waffle House 3 times in 2 weeks :) It felt good to be home and our doggies were so happy to see us. I took just shy of 800 pictures so instead of posting them here I will post a few of my fav and include the link to check them out. Cooperstown Pictures

Start of summer

It has been a very overwhelming past few months. I have been busy studying for my comprehensive exams, which I took May 31, June 1, & June 2...each day consisted of a question with a 4 hour window to answer. The first day my answer was 8 pages, the second day was 13, and the 3rd was 8...now I play the waiting game to find out if I pass. Each answer is graded by 3 professors and has to be passed with an average score of 80. I feel pretty good, but will feel even better when I get told I can move onto oral exams. It has been nice not to study these past few days. I've been doing some stuff I enjoy and planning our trip to New York. We will be leaving in a couple weeks to go to New York. Dave and I will be leaving early and visiting New York City. We will then meet up with James in Coopertown for the week. When he is finished playing baseball we will head to Niagara Falls and Cedar Point. His team hasnt doesnt done the greatest, but they keep their heads up...Looking forward to the trip! (However, I will miss my doggies)

Updates....

James has started baseball games. He's been practicing since Jan, so it is nice to finally see a game. He will play around 30 games in Minooka, Plainfield, Tinley, Orland, Wilmington, etc and then end the season in Cooperstown, New York. During that visit we hope to include New York City, Niagara Falls, and Cedar Point on the way home. I'm sure it will be here before we know it, especially since there are only 5 weeks left in his school year!

My school semester ends next week. It would be nice to say that I have a couple weeks off but that's not the case. On May 31, June 1 and June 2 I will be taking my comprehensive exam for my doctorate. Needless to say I have been and will continue to be VERY VERY busy studying. This summer completes my last class of the doctoral program! Where does the time go? I will be working on my Capstone (dissertation) and doing 600 hours of internship. I'm sure the next year will be faster than any I've experienced yet! My very exciting news to share is that I now have a journal article published!!! The article is on using Choice Theory for supervision. It can be found at: http://www.wglasser.com/images/faculty_rtc/ijctrtspring2012.pdf 

Yesterday I had a meeting at school and our Myers-Briggs type was brought up. I was told that I was rare so this peaked my curiosity and I looked it up (since its been awhile)...I was surprised how fitting it was. (For those of you that don't know the Myers-Briggs is a personality type indicator.) Feel free to read what it has to say...

MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR

GENERAL PROFILE

INTJ

Personality

INTJs are the most self-confident of all types, having “self-power” awareness. Found in about 1 per cent
of the general population, INTJs live in an introspective reality, focusing on possibilities, using thinking
in the form of empirical logic, and preferring that events and people serve some positive use. Decisions
come naturally to INTJs; once a decision is made, INTJs are at rest. INTJs look to the future rather than
the past, and a word, which captures the essence of INTJs, is builder – a builder of systems and the
applier of theoretical models.
To INTJs authority based on position, rank, title, or publication has absolutely no force. This type is not
likely to succumb to the magic of slogans, watchwords, or shibboleths. If an idea or position makes sense
to an INTJ, it will be adopted; if it doesn’t, it won’t, regardless of who took the position or generated the
idea. As with the INTP, authority per se does not impress the INTJ.
INTJs do, however, tend to conform to rules if they are useful, not because they believe in them, or
because they make sense, but because of their unique view of reality. They are the supreme pragmatists,
who see reality as something which is quite arbitrary and made up. Thus it can be used as a tool – or
ignored. Reality is quite malleable and can be changed, conquered, or brought to heel. Reality is a
crucible for the refining of ideas, and in this sense, INTJs are the most theoretical of all the types. Where
an ESTP sees ideas as the pawn of reality, an INTJ sees reality as the pawn of ideas: No idea is too farfetched
to be entertained. INTJs are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact,
aggressively seeking them.
INTJs manipulate the world of theory as if on a gigantic chessboard, always seeking strategies and tactics
that have high payoff. In their penchant for logic, the INTJs resemble the INTPs. The logic of an INTP,
however, is not confined to the expressible logical. Unlike INTPs, INTJs need only to have a vague,
intuitive impression of the unexpressed logic of a system to continue surely on their way. Things need
only seem logical; this is entirely sufficient. Moreover, they always have a keen eye for the consequence
of the application of new ideas or positions. They can be quite ruthless in the implementation of systems,
seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy. Theories, which cannot be made to work, are
quickly discarded by the INTJs.
To understand INTJs, their way of dealing with ideas should be observed closely. Their conscious
thought is extraverted and empirical. Hence, they are better at generalizing, classifying, summarizing,
adducing evidence, proving, and demonstrating than are the INTPs. The INTJs are somewhat less at
home with pure reason, that is, systemic logic, where principles are explicit. In this respect they resemble
the ENTJs. The INTJs, rather than using deductive logic, use their intuition to grasp coherence.

Career

INTJs can be very single-minded at times; this can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for
they can ignore the points of view and wishes of others. INTJs usually rise to positions of responsibility,
for they work long and hard and are steady in their pursuit of goals, sparing neither time nor effort on
their part or that of their colleagues and employees.
INTJs live to see systems translated into substance; an INTP, by way of contrast, is content to design the
system. In both these types, however, coherence is the master. Both internal and external consistency
are important, and if an INTJ finds that he or she is in a working situation where overlapping functions,
duplication of effort, inefficient paper flow, and waste of human and material resources abound, the
INTJ cannot rest until an effort is made to correct the situation. Cost-effectiveness is a concept, which
has a strong imperative for INTJs, who frequently select occupations in engineering, particularly human
engineering. They also can be found in the physical sciences, in roles, which require development, such
as curriculum building, and, in general, any job which requires the creation and application of
technology to complex areas.
Fellow workers of INTJs often feel as if the INTJ can see right through them, and often believe that the
INTJ finds them wanting. This tendency of people to feel transparent in the presence of the INTJ often
results in relationships, which have psychological distance. Thus colleagues find the INTJ apparently
unemotional and, at times, cold and dispassionate. Because of their tendency to drive others as hard as
they do themselves, INTJs often seem demanding and difficult to satisfy. INTJs are high achievers in
school and on the job. On the job, they take the goals of an institution seriously and continually strive to
respond to these goals. They make dedicated, loyal employees whose loyalties are directed toward the
system, rather than toward individuals within the system. So as they people of an institution come and go
the INTJs have little difficulty –unlike the NFs, who have their loyalties involved more with persons than
offices. INTJs tend, ordinarily, to verbalize the positive and eschew comments of a negative nature; they
are more intereste d in moving an institution forward than commiserating about mistakes of the past.

Home

As mates, INTJs want harmony and order in the home and in relationships. They are the most
independent of all types. They will their intuitions about others when making choices of friends and
mates, even in the face of contradictory evidence and pressures applied by others. The emotions of an
INTJ are hard to read, and neither male nor female INTJ is apt to express emotional reactions. At times,
both will seem cold, reserved, and unresponsive, while in fact INTJs are almost hypersensitive to signals
of rejection from those for whom they care. In social situations, INTJs may also be unresponsive and
may neglect to observe small rituals designed to put others at their ease. For example, INTJs may
communicate that time is wasted if used for idle dialogue, and thus people receive a sense of hurry form
an INTJ, which is not always intended. In their interpersonal recreational situations, they do not enjoy
physical contact except with a chosen few.
As parents, INTJs are dedicated and single minded in their devotion; their children are a major focus in
life. They are supportive of their children and tend to allow them to develop in directions of their own
choosing. INTJs usually are firm and consistent in their discipline and rarely care to repeat directions
given to children… or others. Being the most independent of all the types, they have a strong need for
autonomy; indifference or criticism from people in general does not particularly bother INTJs, if they
believe that they are right. They also have a strong need for privacy.
The most important preference of an INTJ is intuition, but this is seldom seen. Rather, the function of
thinking is used to deal with the world and with people. INTJs are vulnerable in the emotional area and
may make serious mistakes here.

The end of another year...goodbye 2011

Another year has quickly gone by. It was a year filled with many ups and downs, challenges and celebrations. While it can be easy to dwell on the negative, there has been plenty to be thankful for as well.
What happened this year....
*I have completed half of my doctoral program maintaining a 4.0
*I was voted to be on the doctoral committee to be the liaison between the students and the faculty
*James made travel baseball
*We bought rafts and rafted several times down the Des Plains river...(this is my favorite thing of the year)
*The basement is 85% complete
*We went to the dells and had a great time
*Grandpa had a rough health year, but hes fighting hard.
*some great friendships continued to grow and others have drifted away
*I started Kris Kringle Christmas Cookies and had a very successful season

This year, Dave and I have spent many hours talking about the idea of contentment. Dave made a great point when he stated that a person cannot be truly happy unless they are content. I believe that a person can be content and still desire things, but when they are not satisfied with what they already have they are often unhappy. It can be easy to blame the economy for why so many people are not currently content with their situation, but I often think it is an excuse. Yes, the economy is not what it has been, but we have been so spoiled that we think poor me I cant have _________. While almost everyone is affected by the economy it is nothing compared to what it could be. There are still people alive who lived through the great depression...and I often wonder what they think about people complaining about the economy. I don't see us waiting in line for a loaf of bread. No, we still have our cell phones, cable, multiple cars, and we are still buying things that are not needed. So it really comes down to being grateful and content with what you have because it really could be a whole lot worse. I debated writing this because I know some people might find it offensive, but sometimes the truth is a hard reality. However, I chose to write it mainly as a reminder to myself (and to others) throughout the upcoming year...2012 could be a very challenging year in a lot of aspects, not just money, but other things too. We all have different situations that may occur this year....financial, school, parenting, health....whatever the situation may be I think we need to be more positive and less of a victim. Ive seen this quote around a lot lately and I find it to be eye opening..."What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for yesterday"....We could spend the whole day be thankful for what we have...maybe it is time to think more about what we have instead of what we dont have.

school update...

I am currently on a few nice long Christmas break (7 weeks!) The end of this past semester marks the 1/2 way point!!! I have two classes this spring and one in the summer. I start my dissertation process this summer and will go until spring of 2013. I have internship the fall and spring of 2012/2013 and I am complete! It has been a great process and I am proud to say I still have that 4.0! I am spending my break baking (www.kriskringlechristmascookies.blogspot.com), writing, and studying. I wrote a paper on Choice Theory for a supervision model that I will be turning into an article and submitting it to a journal when classes start back, so I have some work to do on it. I will be creating notes to start studying for my big exam this summer (3 days, 4 hours each day, 1 essay question a day). Before I know it classes will be starting again. Where does the time go?

Thanksgiving is more than just a day!

After several conversations this past year, Dave and I have come to the conclusion that happiness is based off of contentment. We both feel that we have so very much to be thankful for despite of all the "bad" things going on in the world around us. Being thankful has really been a blessing to us.....it allows us to be more appreciative of the things around us. We have our health, our home, work, school, friends, family, and the list goes on and on. So thank you to God and all those to have touched our life!

A True Honor....

In a few short weeks I will already be half way through my doctoral program! Where on earth has the time gone, oh wait its been spent reading and writing. So far the whole experience has been so much more rewarding than I ever thought. As I move forward in the program more and more wonderful experiences are happening. Last night being one of them...I was asked by the division chair and head of the doc program to be the first doctoral liaison by being a part of the doctoral committee. What this means is that I will meet with the doctoral staff on their monthly meetings. While there I will offer input from the student aspect and share any information that needs to be told to the students. It is such a true honor to me to be picked by my professors. I think this is going to be a GREAT experience.

Fall 2011 family pictures